If she suddenly realized how wonderful you are, take her back. I became distant,took her for granted, got dumped,broke down. or something ells like "I just wanted to see how you are" should I at all mention that I am worried about her that she hasn’t picked up or does that only bring negative vibes over the conversation? Imo, one of the worst things that you can do is to get her to come back to you while/if she has feelings for this other guy. Also, it can't get worse. Is there a risk to fall into the friend zone If I keep the subjects about what we used to talk about or what subjects would make her most inspired to reconnect? She did unfriend me from Facebook she had told me earlier that it hurt her to see me online?Why is she trying so hard to make things worse and not work it out instead? When ever you feel she's out of line, address it asap. Also is she avoiding contact because she is trying to forget about me or is she really that closed in about her emotions and simply too afraid to feel them? Sure, send her a Happy Bday text, and perhaps a card and a single rose. My Boyfriend broke up with me because of his new job? How do I make her see what I want? Be yourself and show interest in her, because she's going to put forth resistence if she feels that you caused the break up. I was 18 (a stupid kid at the time) and I dated an older woman. Cookies help us deliver our Services. If she' s ready to talk, then she'll respond. When I asked her if I could be there too and perhaps maybe meet him she said no, you two would get into an argument she said, she was already set in her mind that things wasn’t going to be friendly between us because he was going to provoke me. The other guy is a huge threat to your happiness with her. Sure, call her, but play it cool at first. I think I have urinary tract infection.MeOk, I’m home soon too, home come? The comparison to her parents is a pretext for her not to be with you right now. But she takes it the wrong way by being mean to those that she used to care for as if they are the cause of her problem. I hadn't seen her since June and now she's showing up everywhere with her new guy. 5 years ago. Making her laugh can really help your cause. Phone communication to get her back should be in addition to face to face contact. Took her for granted, got bored, she broke up with me, then I went crazy realizing what I lost. So here’s the problem what do I do on Thursday? Woulden't that be a bad thing since I kinda promised to call? The fact is, if she dumped you, her attraction to you has plummeted, and you continuing to push her to take you back is only making it worse. But why is she doing this? She’s still stuck on the fact that it won’t work out because of what had happened in the past and she said at one point that she got so mad over the break-up that it changed her. That she maybe was not sure of breaking up in the first place? MeHmm yeah I guess you know what's best for you it's just sad f?r those people that want you hereSheYeah but sometimes you got to think about yourselfMeI hope you are making the right decision that's all, I wish I knew what you really felt inside soI could be there for youSheThe reason why you can't be here for me is because I need a friendMeI can be you’re friend tooSheBut not just. I got this chance to do something but what should I do, what should I talk about? Who needed to know where she stood in the relationship. he was going through a tough time in life, he wanted her more than she wanted him), she dumped him and got her revenge. I would contact her. By all means, let your actions reflect your words about gettig her back. It's hard to tell the exact reason why she is avoiding you, perhaps it's to resist the urge to get back with you or to ease the pain of the break up. I agree, what he did was low; however, she is at fault as well. Do you really miss her? I got dressed, went to work, called him to meet me near my office and dumped … On the sidenote of things she also broke up with me because she started to get a crush on her best male friend, they are not together or anything like that but they keep talking everyday and I fear at the end I might just lose her to him. When it came to serious subjects it took longer for her to response in the messages but she did eventually respond. Alright, man. She's being cold because she needs space, so give it to her. Another thing, prove her right sometimes. How should I pick up the communication? I had earlier said that she was downgrading me when she said she wanted us to be only friends after being together. wow. :/ Are you all right? If you can be there for her, meaning stay in her life and accept that her behavior is the result of how you and others treated her, until she forgives you(at this point, she has not) and will be able to look at you without feeling any afteraffects, then you may stand a good chance at being with her again. There is just no other way. By the way how often should I keep contact with her from a distance? Wait it out or be there? The difference: If she never inquires about your dating status, always responds to your texts, doesn't encourage you to move on with your life, and never tells you that she going on a date, then she's likely not over you and perhaps wants you to fight for her. After running around angry for a couple of years; just trying to find myself and the meaning of my life, I simultaneuosly met the love of my life and this site to vent, help others, and troll on. It seems all discussion is one sided right now, what could I say to her without making her feel uncomfortable when answering me? :s like what is going on here and with her? So now we talk a few times a year. HerYeah I'm home now. They want guys. Most of our time was spent with her kids in tow, we prob' only had 10 or so dates on our own 'cos she rarely got babysitters. If she id really trying to forget about me that hard that means she still has feelings for me right? Is it because I haven’t been so responsive? I said “someone” that because I felt like it but didn’t mean it even though I did wanted to see her reaction.4. I can relate to that, my ex adored me also, and it became very, very stressful at times. :/ Then 5 hours later I called her cell, she diden’t answer now I’m worried, not so much that she might be dissin me but more worried about how she feels? So maybe she does miss me, there is no way he does any of the little stuff I did for her… She was 23 at the time but we clicked and started dating. And what would I say to her once there? Man, you're going to have to throw all of your cards on the table and fight for her. It just don't make any logicl sense to me :s. She's making no sense because she's using emotion rather than logic. Think of creative of ideas that will get her attention. There has to be a way to this, I’m willing to give it a try before I give up completely. I've talked to her once and she is kinda afraid to talk about touchy subjects it dousen't suit her, I really woulden't know what to say to her plus I'm really afraid now that she would tell me something like they hooked up or something I woulden't know how I would react to that. Just keep in mind that getting her back may be very, very difficult. Take a stand, and stick by it. I just hope she comes to her senses here is the convo we had, Later in the eveningMeHi, is it okay if I contact you like this or should I back off? I also thought about ending it all, and then I realized that I'm not living for her. It’s like she wants it but don’t or she really means what she is saying and she really don’t want it right now.What is her problem really? I had that day gone to the hospital because I wasn’t feeling well that same day I told her on the phone that she was evil for not caring about me and said to her that I would commit suicide and see if she would care then.Of course stupid mistake again, she freaked out called the police because she was afraid I would do it, they came a looked for me they found me, picked me up drove me to the hospital, I got some sleeping pills and then was on my way home. Basically, I'm suggesting backing off some because of her feelings for him. Ive had severe revelations since my bf of a year dumped me a week and a half ago. All you can do is what she allows you to do, man. What can I say this time differently? It’s a pretty common story. What is the deal with that? And is she avoiding to meet me up because she don't want a real break?Or is she simply a coward maybe? She is still afraid to meet up because she thinks I’ll get close to her I told her I wouldn’t if she didn’t want me too, but how am I suppose to be more then friends If she won’t let me get close? But how do I make her believe in me and give me a real chance and not go with that other guy and give him a chance instead. All I want to do is turn it around somehow because I know we can be good to each other I know I won’t ever take her for granted and I am prepared to make things right and keep em that way. She did come over and stay at my house, but 2 days later she told me we shouldn't talk or see each other again. To this day she'll take me back in a heartbeat. At the time she did it I thought she did it because she knew I liked it and she even said she did it because of that but now she tells me that I insulted her food by changing it? Imo, you should contact her at least 2 to 3X a week, because you don't want to appear too available, but you don't want to appear clingy or desperate either. I have been with my ex-girlfriend for about 2 years now. Contact her again! Need more.MeWhy are you going up so early? @the reason why I was taking her for granted was because she liked me too much. And I won’t even be close to her, I would at least want to try to long distance relationship with her if that’s the case I just don’t want to lose what we had because I know I can make it right again if she could only give me the chance. :/ why is she so stuck up? Be as genuine and a cool as you can be when you get in contact with her. However, during the separation, she did tell me to not break off communication because I was such an important person in her life. She just came online again on Monday, but I haven't gone online yet to speak to her.Another thing why is she online all of sudden? When we was together she was always the type of girl, what I should have done different in the relationship and how easily fixed it really was, I never gave us the chance to grow a stronger emotional bond, she was the one trying I held back with that she got exhausted and couldn’t give anymore so she gave up. I played a huge role in the demise of the relationship due to me not courting here, texting and calling her enough. I tapped in your bio to make sure you’re not my ex lmao. I just overdid the whole victim role.So now you know the background to this story and you might think I’m nuts now but the pain I was feeling back then was intense. It's also her birthday today I was thinking of sending her a message wishing her happy birthday but I'm not sure it kinda goes against my whole approach of not giving her to much expectation on being friends with me. Your feelings has to be considered also. Sorry for this incredibly huge post but here was the convo we had just to get a clearer picture of what happened. I wanted to keep it a secret so it could be exciting.2. Girls don't want pushovers. I told her that what I feel right now is that I want to be good for her in all ways and that. She broke up with me because I was taking her for granted, and the reason why I was taking her for granted was because she liked me too much, I never really got the chance or breather to show my appreciation back. Care or self-respect? I have felt unappreciated in my relationship before and have given chances, if he doesn't take them it makes me feel hurt. SheI know you don't do that but you are trying to get closeMeIf you don't want me to do that I won't do it(She diden't respond for an hour so I sent her a new text)MeWhy do you need me as a friend?SheBecuase I need a friendMeBut you do have friends? I just feel there is more for us to gain from each other and more experience to have together. It's OK to feel disappoited in her: you are notwrong tofeel that way. I'm just afraid she is using this limited contact because she don't want to see me hurt she's acting real cold and I'm not sure what she is doing right now and it worries me. She got mad and that’s when it all came out. MeSorry I was tired when I got home so I took a nap, are you still awake?SheYesMeAight cool what's going on with your day tomorrow? It's Halloween after all :pShe(Cat name) is coming by so I'm going to be with her (her best friends cat)MeOk I guess she (the cat) has learned to travel by herself now without (best friends name) :pMeYeah :pMeDo you want me to come by? She got tired of all the times you expected her to be there and the mistreatment you directed towards you. She was still mad, and we got into this whole argument about me keeping her up tonight again and that I just said come online so I could see if she would do what I said or not when she thought it was something important. =P. Man, I should have gotten with her way back, but in my single days I would meet pretty women that would divert my attention, which made it almost impossible to won't to commit back then. But I understand. )HerNow I have eaten food ...(I think she thought I was inviting her out to dinner but it was actually go-kart and dinner I never told her that wanted to keep it a surprise) so I wrote back. Or how she feels? I didn’t say much, I went home and on my way home that’s when I got the text. Your story is almost exactly like mine, and I’m afraid I will also react the same way if she goes with that other guy and then regrets it. Fo real? Gather yourself. She cried not because she was scared of death, but because she was scared that no one would take care of her children. if she goes away to school, then there is nothing else to do but stay in touch with her, unless of course, your willing to have a LDR or move with her. So I went over there waited at her house and then all of a sudden they came, that guy, her mom and her, I didn’t say or do anything I let the guy pass me and then she came I tried to talk to her but it was impossible, her mom tried to make me leave because she thought I was threat, I calmed her down by talking some sense into her, they continued up the stairs, me and her mom followed suite, they opened the door and that’s when all hell broke loose. Because it feels like I don't know where I have her and I don't want to make myself look desperate to her. She really has a hard time believing I like her too she keeps saying things like “You only say it because you want to say it, not because you really mean it" and having trust issues, Somewhere deep inside I know she still likes me because all that love that she showed me couldn’t have been in vain she could literally die for me that’s how much she liked me. Never miss a thing with GirlsAskGuys notifications on your browser. Nah, she's avoiding contact because she is still hurt and confused. I've already said I miss her and want her back, but she keeps saying I should stop hoping for that? Ok, I’m starting to sense that she is avoiding me at all cost, she hasn’t said anything since Thursday or been online even when I told her to call me later. She seems so stuck on the bad parts and turning me into something less then I was because of that...why is she doing this? We fear it's a vicious cycle. The purpose for being a friend from a distance is to give her space and avoid the emotional attachment that comes with seeing and talking to someone that you love/like. Probably one of the most difficult, emotional challenges that you you'll face, and regrettable if you don't give it your all. You have to let women come to you when they want. back given the circumstances. Is there anything ells I could say to her that can remind her of why she first fell in love with me? Btw she is coming back to town on Monday so next week I can setup a meeting with her but still I’m not sure if she's ready or how I am going to go about it without looking needy to her or coming off as I don’t care because I don’t contact her. the relationship. I agree with HotYetSmart. Go see her(unannounced) and try and talk to her! Again, you're going to have to prove yourself to her, so court her all over again my friend. Why has she changed her mind so drastically if she really liked me that much?It makes me wonder if she ever liked me, is it possible she is hurt? I know I've messed up a bit, just as she has, that's why I want to fix it. Getting the her best friend to sympathize with you could be very helpful to your cause because she may want to help you win her back. Did you two ever meet again? But you are basically saying I should let her resolve her feelings over him before even suggesting to get back together, what if I don't do anything and her feelings go off for me? Showing in person how you feel(being attentative, sharing laughs and good times together will help her get those feeling back. Cool, I contacted her today by text and she responded immediately and it kind went better then I expected, we continued the convo throughout the day, she was open and friendly in the conversation and told me what she thought of me. I had originally planned something fun to do on that day instead of just only talking it out and remembering bad stuff and getting in a bad mood and this is how the our text conversation went that day. From your words - I think that once you'd get her back - you'd take her for granted again. Sure she gave me couple of hints that things were not that fine but It always went back to positive. this is another example of you don't know what you got until is gone,i think she made the right decision to leave you because she was always there but you took her for granted now she is gone and your missing her,just let her go and find someone who is worth her time who won't take her kindness for weakness. I would walk away and thank my lucky stars you are free from such an inconsiderate person. I had taken her for granted, but I still had a chance. (I diden't know what to respond here, so I wen't and took a nap a couple of hours later I sent), SheBut it feels like you’re hope makes you not accept it.MeI've felt that way yes, but if it disturbs you then I can stop feeling that waySheI don't know what to say.MeYou don't have to say anything right nowSheBut you expect it.MeIt depends on what you feelSheI have said what I feelMeTemporary amnesia don't remember :p Just kidding but seriously you have nothing to worry about, we can go out and do something some day if you want and you'll see I don't bite, MeI'm not going to demand something you don't want that would be wrong I just want to understand you that’s allSheBut you want us to be us, me be me :(MeWho knows that you can be anything you want it's not something I can take control overSheBut you want to take control over it, I know you.MeI know it feels that way but as I said when you’re with me I don't want you to do something against you’re will I don't want to have it like that, I want you to be happy or ells it won't work. Long story short: weve broken up quite a few times in the past year. This is even more important for an ex-girlfriend. I diden’t want that either, but the tone of her voice and her whole vibe was just throwing me off plus the things she was saying was designed to make me feel hopeless about ever getting back with her. Well, if you promised, then keep it. I want her to at least be curious enough to give it a chance to try it out on a whole new note with me and feel good about it. I grabbed her by her face and gave her … Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! NOW that you had to face the consequences of your actions, you are sorry. She was on the train, so the connection broke every so often, even though she was ice cold on the phone and didn’t say much and just listened she still wanted to hear what I had to say, she was the one who called me up every time the connection broke, we talked for more then 2 hours. If she came back because she couldn't find anyone else, though, you'd be making a mistake to try the relationship again. You took the woman you love for granted and now she's gone. Most of what you said resonates with me. If you choose to stay in her life-, then consider how you will feel if she dates other guys, and vice versa. You, however, should do what ever you feel is suitable to win her back as long as you can live with the end result. She told me that she has never had a relationship like that in her life. Is she with that guy? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. She wants a friend right NOW, but that doesn't mean you can't change her mind by working your magic when you hang out IN PERSON. And how can I move closer to her without making her feel uncomfortable, I just don’t want to be friend zoned here, I want to be able to touch her and make her feel passion and not just turn it into a platonic friendship.Is she expecting me to do something to prove to her I still want her? When I asked her if there was something I could do to help her she said, you can’t and neither can he, it’s just me that have put myself in this sh*it situation and there is nothing to do about it.So maybe she is confused but at the same time I am afraid I am going to lose her if she moves out of town to study in that town where that guy and her best friend is. I never did anything wrong to her, I was always honest with my feelings so she knew what I felt. Where is usually the limit in such circumstances? She said I deserve to feel good and she was having a guilty conscious over what happened, now I don't want her to be talking to me because of that I don’t want no pitty, or a friendship with her only so what should I do? that even though she realizes her faults, she still belives that you're the main reason for the breakup(trust me, women, sheeesh). Perhaps buying her a sweater or a t-shirt with her school's or favorite school's logo on it will be a good idea, or sending her buy mail a hand written letter that she'll never forget. She gradually became distant and met some new guy that made her feel special and loved. This is even more important for an ex-girlfriend. If you took your girl for granted and thought it was okay to ignore personal hygiene, ... how will you take care of her when you are unable to take … While you’re using the no contact, there’s another extremely important thing that you need to be doing. would explain everything. she is manipulating you which you will see in time. If you take her love for granted, and in return she leaves, you’ll continuously wish you could go back.